How Psychoanalysis Almost Cost me my Marriage
One of the worst choices that I have ever made in life was going to psychoanalysis sessions to help me quit smoking. Actually till today, I have never realized what made me turn to analysis in my quest to keep off cigarettes. This is because the therapeutic analysis nearly ruined my life and my relationship.
This all happened to me after I got married. I started smoking while I was in college and carried on with the trend even after finishing college. Then I began dating. The girl that I was courting at that time didn’t have any problem with my smoking. However, when we got married and she became pregnant, things changed.
I could feel that my smoking habits were drifting our relationship apart and I didn’t what that to happen. There is one thing about addiction which is very realistic; quitting what you are addicted at can be painfully disappointing at times, but there are many people who have successfully managed to give up on something addictive. Knowing this, I tried several methods of quitting smoking in vain. It was like a punishment to me. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t manage to quit.
I never wanted to be a disappointment to my family and this triggered me to search for several ways which could help me quit smoking. It was in my research that I came across psychoanalysis and on closer inspection and research, I presumed that this was a good program that would help me quit the bad habit.
Seeking Therapeutic Solutions for Bad Habits
I didn’t know that I was jumping from the frying pan into the open fire. The therapist who I paid for the services wasn’t a smart guy. Actually he was more of a sadist than a therapist. He always thought that I was a pathetic guy seeking attention and to be loved by doing what I thought others presumed right. He felt that I was weak and with no better options in life; kind of a person born with insecurities. I don’t know what kept me going back to him despite his outright attacks on my personality, but I believe that he corrupted my mind to the extent that I believed in what he said about my personality.
He made me believe that I was a weak person and that he needed to help me become a strong man, instead of helping me quit smoking. It was a tough affair for me especially telling him how my wife felt about my smoking habits. Telling him about all the statements that and arguments that I had with my wife about my habits had been really humiliating because in his response, he felt that I had a weak character which need to be treated.
Unprofessional Analysis can dictate Decisions
This nearly cost me my marriage because what he said about me and my reasoning that my wife didn’t view me as an equal partner, but rather she wanted to impose what should happen in our marital relationship made me feel inadequate. Therefore I realized that instead of confronting the issue that had taken me to see the therapist, I was fighting my wife for assuming that she was ‘superior’ to me.
It wasn’t easier for me to come into term with all that as I continued going for the psychoanalysis session which really poked holes in my roles as a husband. All went to worse and I nearly separated with my wife. What saved my marriage was visiting a marital counselor who upon reviewing our positions and arguments concluded that the analysis sessions that I was attending were poisoning my mind. True to that, I decided to quit the sessions and seek other ways of quitting smoking. My marriage was saved and I was able to successfully quit smoking through hypnosis.